Day 31

Today’s Takeaway: Life is cruel and unfair sometimes.

As you know from my Day 27 post we adopted an adorable 8 week old puppy we named Eddie.

Today Eddie suffered a number of seizures for which the cause is still unknown. We have been in and out of doctors all day, and it was determined he’s a very sick little guy. Ultimately, it was recommended we surrender him back to the facility we adopted him from so he can get proper care.

There is nothing else to say than my family is gutted about losing our little pup. We only had him 3 days, but we bonded as a family in that time. We had great hopes for the full life we would lead together.

On a personal front, Eddie was meant to be my emotional support pal during a very difficult, but necessary decision I’ve made. On April 4th I’ll be having surgery. I’ve decided to take my cancer fight into my own hands and after 10 years I will be removing my remaining ovary and fallopian tube. I’m also considering a full hysterectomy but will not make that decision till I consult all my doctors this week.

I have a lot of feelings to unpack with this decision. Even though I wasn’t considering having more kids, the possibility of it was still there. The finality of ending my childbearing years is a lot. I think Eddie was my way of recapturing that baby phase one last time. To have it end like this, so suddenly, is a little more than I’m capable of processing currently.

Eventually we’ll be okay. The truth is, it could always be worse. We could have had him for an even longer amount of time, bonded fully and then experienced this. As difficult as it was, ripping the bandaid was the best we could hope for.

Love you Eddie! Hoping you make a full recovery and another family gets to experience what we dreamed about. ♥️