Day 24
Today’s Takeaway: Sometimes it’s really, really hard to be a woman.
This is going to sound dramatic, but I woke up this morning like I survived the plague. That stomach flu was a nightmare & today was the first time in 3 days I wasn’t dreading the start of another day.
When I sat down to write this, I took a look back at the last week of posts & realized it wasn’t just the last 3 days that were dark & stormy. Starting with post 17 up until today, my writing is riddled with nostalgia, sadness, frustration, negativity & self-doubt. I sound like a completely different person! Then it dawned on me, like it does every single month since I was 12 years old. Righhht…I’m a woman. Which means I only get 1 week a month where I feel like a normal human being.
That’s right, bout to make a whole lot of people feel real uncomfortable, but this was my takeaway today…Sometimes it’s really, really hard to be a woman.
Those closest to me are going to read this & be shocked that I’m even talking about it. Secretive doesn’t even begin to describe it. You will notice I’ll never even state directly what I’m talking about throughout this entire post. It embarrasses me to my core. I know that’s silly. It’s biology & it’s beautiful, & natural & all that jazz. Yeah, sorry I don’t feel that way. I HATE it! Everything about it, but mostly that I have no control over becoming a literal MONSTER for 2 weeks out of every, single month. I hate it so much I fucking block it out. The 2nd week of this cycle is like a god-damn epiphany, every month.
“Ohhhhh right that’s why I wanted to kill Sean.”
“Ohhhhh yeah now crying at that insurance commercial makes sense.”
“LIZ! Remember not to try on clothes during this week! What’s wrong with you?!”
And it’s only gotten more intense & impossible to ignore as I’ve gotten older. Also, not sure if anyone else has experienced this, but having kids made it 10x worse. Honestly, I was wholeheartedly convinced, I was clinically depressed & needed medication last week. I was all over the internet researching how to micro-dose with Psilocybin. (Not gonna lie, might still want to try it, but that’s another post.)
I probably could’ve gotten away with saying nothing. Letting you draw your own conclusions about why we all took a detour to the pity party. Hell, maybe you didn’t even notice, but I did. And my ego cannot take anyone thinking I’m not the annoyingly positive, infectiously energetic person that I actually am…3 weeks out of every month. In my mind this absolutely required a raw and real explanation.
Those of you out there who share in my pain, or maybe are reading this weeping because it’s THAT week when everything is hitting you like you lost your first pet…I see you. I hear you. And shit, do I feel you! Oh and maybe wait till next week to go food shopping.
Anyway, whether you noticed the change or not over the last week…I’m sorry and I’m back…at least for the next couple weeks. 🤦♀️😂
