Don’t Do This: New Job Edition
On Wednesday, October 25th I started a new role. I’m the first Employee Experience Manager for a medtech start-up called Apella. 🥳
I’ve got all the “E’s” about it…excited, eager, energized, enthusiastic; but I’m also feeling a lot of other vowel words…anxious, overwhelmed, impatient, imposter-y.
In past onboarding experiences I found preparing a project wish list or mock 30/60/90 plan helped me to combat the anxiety. So last week, I began creating a roadmap for myself. Listing all the things I hoped to accomplish in the first 30 days.
I had a ton of ideas and furiously typed them into a beautiful spreadsheet that I intended to share in my first meeting with my new manager. As I sat back to marvel at my creation, I felt this intense, unfamiliar rush of self-awareness…
“Omg, I would hate me!”
This 30/60/90, although well-intentioned, suddenly felt like a super aggressive move. It was all about me! What did I want to accomplish with this team; what I thought they needed; What I think the perfect culture looks like…me, me, me!
Then it hit me…”Crap. I came in super hot to every job I’ve ever had.” 🤦
I wanted to prove my worth so badly, that I lost all my chill and let my high-functioning anxiety take the wheel.
I was determined to start this job on the right foot. So I leaned into this new found clarity, ditched the 30/60/90, and started a new list…
What I’m NOT going to do starting this new role.
1. Don’t Go In With a Master Plan
As I explained in my opener, I thought going in with a master plan was a smooth move. I would do a ton of pre-work, construct a 30/60/90, create a list of ideas and projects to get after, even make change suggestions in my very first meetings. 😬
I thought this approach was communicating that I was a go-getter, a problem-solver, the best choice they ever made! But after looking at it through the lens of the recipient, I was giving more manic energy, than anything else.
More importantly, these preparations weren’t for them, they were for me. I’m a people-pleaser. I want everyone to think I’m awesome all the time! Sometimes that causes me to do too much. 😆
Call it maturity or experience, but I knew I didn’t want to start my new job on this footing. I had realized that to be the best team member I could be, all I needed was to shut-up and listen.
Joining a new team is a huge change for everyone, and successful, healthy change takes time. Start by listening to your teammates, learning what they’re processes are, and connecting with the culture. Going into your first conversations with preconceived ideas and attack plans, only gives the impression that you have your own agenda and you’re not a team player.
Bottom Line: When you onboard, don’t go in with anything but an open mind.
2. Don’t Be Afraid to Ask Questions
Once upon a time, I was embarrassed to not know things.
I wanted so badly to be the smartest, most liked person in the room, I would straight up lie to participate in conversations. Anything to avoid the sheer humiliation that came with saying the phrase “I don’t know.”
To my immature brain, people were only going to find me interesting if I knew something about everything. As I got older and wiser, I realized quite a few reasons why that is a ridiculous mindset; and that being inquisitive is actually a super power, especially in the workplace.
Increases likeability: A lot of people shy away from asking questions because they don’t want to be a nuisance, or think that it conveys incompetence. When actually studies have shown it achieves the opposite effect. Asking someone for help validates their intelligence, which naturally makes them feel more positively towards you. The more authentically curious questions you ask only strengthens your likeability factor.
Less wasted time: Imagine during your onboarding you’re asked, “Are you familiar with our HR platform?” You don’t want to seem like an idiot so you say “yes,” even though you’ve never seen it before in your life. 🙂Satisfied with your answer, your colleague leaves you to navigate it on your own. Now you have to add a crash course of this product to your ever-growing to-do list. An unnecessary task that could have easily been avoided if you just swallowed your pride and said, “No Bob, I’m not familiar, can you show me around?” Asking questions saves us valuable time scrambling for answers we could’ve already had.
You’ll appear more competent: Taking from the example above, say Bob checks in on your progress setting up your HR profile. He realizes there are quite a few incomplete areas. Now he’s confused and frustrated because you said you were familiar with this software. You feared asking questions would make you seem incompetent, but it was NOT asking them that achieved that. The next time you’re in a meeting observe the people you feel are the most successful on the team. I would bet any money they are serial question-askers.
You’ll actually be more competent: You know what happens when you stop caring what other people think and ask the questions you want to ask? You get answers! Asking lots of questions and getting lots of answers, makes you smarter. Which when applied in the workplace makes you more competent at your job. The more you know 🌈.
Strengthens connections: Question-asking offers an amazing opportunity to forge those first few connections with your colleagues. When you admit to not knowing something, you’re sharing an authentic form of vulnerability. Allowing a person to teach you something, is one of the best ways to solidify immediate, memorable connections.
Bottom line: I’d prefer a curious mind to a know-it-all any day. Ask ALL the questions.
3. Don’t Be Nervous About Setting Boundaries
Holy hell am I terrible at this! People-pleaser, remember? 🙋🏻♀️
I’ve gone into every job thinking that in order for people to like me and to be successful, I had to be a “Yesman.” Saying no, especially to my managers, was not an option. Whatever it was, you made it work. Old-school corporate mentality at its finest.
In the past I would blame others for my burnout:
“My manager is emailing me at all hours.”
“My teammate keeps making late meetings.”
“Why are people pinging me? They know I’m on vacation!”
Hard truth, it wasn’t all their fault. It was mostly mine. I answered every email as soon as it came in. I showed up to super late meetings without complaint. I didn’t put an away message up while I was on vacation. I set ZERO boundaries. 😣
You know why? I was scared. The idea of having an awkward, uncomfortable conversation about all the things I was not willing to do was nauseating to me. So I avoided it at all costs. Obviously to my detriment, and eventually to the detriment of others. I was spread so thin, that everyone I worked with got about 10% of me. I knew I had to make some big changes.
I’ve spent the last couple years retraining my brain and learning the power of no. I’ve realized, (partially thanks to Atlassian’s amazing culture and resources), that setting boundaries did not mean I was a selfish anti-team player. It just meant I was taking responsibility for my work first. I was no longer going to prioritize other people’s needs and expectations at the expense of my own. And that, my friends, is growth. 😆
Bottom line: Set those boundaries. Being honest about your limitations is empowering.
I leave you with this…
I’m not going to lie, I’m still nervous about implementing these changes. I have to remind myself daily to slow down, ask for help and set boundaries. You know what they say about old dogs and new tricks. 😆
But preparing for this new role has been the wake-up call I needed. It offers me something you don’t get often in life - a clean slate. A chance to break toxic habits and reinvent myself. I hope sharing these raw realizations inspires you to do a little self reflection.
